


Hope and Strength

by Chiru



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble, Love Confessions, M/M, Rejection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 00:12:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1530872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chiru/pseuds/Chiru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren didn't know why or how or if it made any sense, but his feelings were clear.<br/>Levi didn't care about the whats and whos of any of it. His feelings were irrelevant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hope and Strength

**Author's Note:**

> Found this among old stuff. Was a vent/study on this relationship that I could not come to terms with. Hardest part of it was probably writing them as being interest in each other, haha. Meanwhile I've become a lot more indifferent/accepting towards this pairing, although I will probably never ship it...  
> Loosely inspired on a chat I had on omegle with somebody that out of the blue started role-playing Eren with me, and wasn't very happy with the way my Levi rejected him, I think xD;;  
> Never posted 'cause I thought it was mean towards shippers. But then I came across it today again and kind thought that: a) it's not _that_ mean; b) I am a mean and horrible person, so heck, why not.

Eren didn't know why. He didn't know why or how or if it made any sense. He wasn't quite sure if he cared either. But his feelings were clear.

First it had been admiration, hero-worship if you will. The man was short and moody, but Eren didn't care. He was blown away by the movements, the fluidity of his cut, the deathtoll at his feet.

And then it was tainted with fear. After the beating he had taken in the courtroom, he couldn't help but flinch at hearing the man's voice, vividly recalling the boot against his jaw, his cheek pressed painfully against the cold stone, blood seeping from his head, nose and mouth. He flinched and felt horribly conscious around him. More than ever before he felt his eyes follow the man. His pace, his speech, his apology. And this man was now responsible for him. The reason for him to be alive. He owed him everything, and he felt his heart go out to the man.

He would insult Eren. He would glare at him and make him feel like he was worth only the dust he could clean. He gave harsh orders and strict guidance, but he was never violent. Eren wasn't sure how it had come to be, but he started noticing the care that went into the words, the sympathy in his actions. Yes, he would insult him as he spoke of way to save him. Yes, he could call him out on his failure as he stepped in front and protected his life. Not only was he the greatest soldier, but he was good to him, Eren knew it, and surely but certainly, he started loving the man.

 

***

 

Levi didn't give it credit. He didn't care about the whats and whos of any of it. It simply didn't matter, that he knew for sure. His feelings were irrelevant.

First it had been an order, his pity floating under the surface. The boy was full of life and energy, and Levi noticed. He was inspired by the determination, the revelation, the options it all brought.

And then he started to care. After following the plan in the court, he felt bad for the boy who squirmed in his presence. He wouldn't regret the actions that led him to save the boys life, nor the responsibility of his well-being. He'd apologized, and the boy had said he understood, but Levi despised the situation he was in. This boy was now in his care, and he hated to see him struggle. He kept an eye on him, hoping to alleviate his punishment when possible.

He would stare at Levi. He would follow him with his eyes as he walked past in the morning. He would work hard in his best attempts to please, always giving his whole. He started to smile and feel more confident around him. Levi was happy, and he didn't mind the glances. He knew it didn't matter. The boy was his responsibility, his care. The boy was possibility, hope for all of humanity, and he was it's keeper. Humanity's chance was also Levi's, and he knew this was the most important of all.

 

***

 

A knock on the door broke Levi's concentration. He put the report he had been reading down, and mumbled a short “Come in.” He hadn't been expecting anybody, but he assumed nobody would dare to interrupt him unannounced unless it was truly urgent.

Naturally the corporal was surprised as his protegee stepped into his office, looking as unsure and fidgety as he always did when unsure of his actions, those large emerald eyes rising to meet his before running back to the floor.

“E-excuse me Corporal, but I... euhm...”

“What?” It was starting to look suspiciously like the boy had no good reason to be here. Which better not be the case, for the boy's sake.

“I need to talk to you...” Another glance up, and this time the boy's blush didn't pass unnoticed.

“Alright.” Levi pushed the report aside and folded his hands in front of his face. “What is it, Eren?”

“Sir, I...” The kid did a few steps in front, and took a deep breath as to gather his courage. Various days had he been struggling, deciding and undeciding that he was or wasn't going to confess. It was a crush, a stupid crush. Although perhaps it was true love instead. He had no idea, but he knew he wanted to be closer to the Corporal at all costs. He ached for more. He wasn't even sure what. But more, for sure. More, more...

“Sir, I like you.” He said, his throat falling dry the moment the words left his lips.

Levi stared at him, eyes impassive while Eren reprimanded himself for saying it in the most childish way possible, but of course the jittery feeling that overtook him whenever the man was near stopped him from speaking one of the many variants of perfect lines he'd well practiced in his mind.

“That is good.” The man answer, and it sounded like the end of the conversation. His hand went back out to the report, but Eren interrupted, desperate to not have his effort ignored.

“No, I mean, I... I like like you. A lot. Like...” His eyes shifted over the floor, unsure of how to put it, hoping this would suffice. Clearly it didn't, as Levi's eyes stayed as cold as ever on his figure, hand hoovering over the paperwork on his desk.

“I like you, like... like I-want-to-kiss-you like you.” His face turned completely red, spreading to his ears and neck, but his eyes, those big green eyes, looked up determinedly at the other figure in the room.

Levi sighed and leaned back. Well damn, the brat had said it. “So?” He asked, waving his hand questioningly.

Eren swallowed. “So... what do you think about me, sir...?” His deep eyes kept penetrating the man's, but won no leeway as the elder stared back just as determinedly.

“It does not matter, Eren.”

“Wha-?! Why not?!” The boy asked, nearly outraged, tasting the possibility of a positive answer in the thick atmosphere..

“Are you really that stupid? You are my charge. You are my responsibility. You are a fucking kid. Had you come to my care a few years earlier I'd be wiping the shit off your tiny ass. I am glad I don't need to do that, and I don't intent to do anything else with it either.”

Seen as how Eren's blush couldn't spread further, it opted for becoming a darker shade of red instead. “Tha- that's not true!” The kid sounded offended, and Levi simply lifted a skeptic eyebrow. Pouting, the boy continued.

“But that doesn't matter! You didn't answer my question!” Stubborn as ever.

“Yes it does. The answer doesn't.”

“Why?!” Eren's voice was raised, as so often when he didn't like the course of things.

“I will not lay with somebody old enough to be my son, brat.”

“So you don't like me?!”

“Don't scream.” Levi's authoritative voice did nothing for the boy's tone.

“Just answer me!!!”

“Fine.” And with this Eren fell quiet, eye blown as they fixated the man's figure. “I like you. But I have no desire and zero intent on involving myself with you. So it makes no difference.”

“What? Why not?!”

“Do I have to repeat myself?” Levi's glare was piercing, and Eren couldn't help but do a small step back. How could this tone and actions still be so icy? Had the man not just accepted to liking him too...?

“But I'm not a kid. I... I've been through so much. What does age matter, really?!” The boy's voice had gotten a pleading note, his eyes desperately searching for any hold on in his superior's body language, but finding none.

“Yes, the past ten years have been rough. But so were the twenty before that. You don't know me, kid. Don't claim to not be a child as you pout and throw a tantrum because you can not get what you want.”

Eren glared at Levi, brow furrowed deep, anger burning in his eyes. “Because being an adult is so great. You get to look down and patronize those who haven't lived as long and claim to be so much better and stronger than everybody else.” He spit out the words, hoping to provoke.

“No, it is not.” Levi's tone was surprisingly mellow, and it caught Eren somewhat by surprise. “I understand you're lost and eager for recognition, but don't turn to me. I can't give you what you want.”

Eren was surprised by the answer, his eyebrows jumping up and hope sparkling in his eyes for but a moment before the corporal shook his head.

“As I said, it does not matter. You are humanity's hope. It is your duty to believe in the possibility of change and peace and victory. It is your duty to bring it.” A small smile made it to Levi's lips, and Eren's chest grew full at the sight, while the words emptied it out. “And I am humanity's strongest. I am to keep you safe. I am to stay strong.”

The following silence pressured Eren until he build a headache, nearly forcing tears to his eyes.

Levi sighed, and rubbed his forehead. “What hope is there for humanity if not even their strongest can deny the words of a kid and put the greater good in front of a selfish whim and fleeting attraction?”

Tears filled Eren's eyes, and slowly he walked in front, towards the desk, towards his love, towards his hope, around the desk, to his side, arms about to engulf him in an all consuming hug.

He was stopped.

Levi was tired. Tired of repeating himself. Tired of the strange attraction he had towards the kid so eager to prove himself and tired of having to say no.

But Levi was nothing if not dutiful, and so he did it once more. A hand kept Eren at bay, and Levi's voice was cold and final.

“No.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's annoying that nobody can ask anybody else how something is in the Shingeki universe because it will always be kinda weird and funny õ_õ


End file.
